So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
