i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
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oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
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I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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