there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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