They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
