I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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