I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
