in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Randomize
