That's when you crack a 10am beer
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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