I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
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Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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