we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Randomize
