Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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