His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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