when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
