I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
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