If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
