You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
