I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
you traded sex for a burrito?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
