Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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