The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
