Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
