One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
