I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
