I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
