why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
