She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
