Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
