i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
ttyl tear gas
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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