he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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