Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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