Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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