Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
