and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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