I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
