you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
