..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
