Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Randomize
