well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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