You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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