so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
