As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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