i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
ttyl tear gas
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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