I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
