Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Found your dick twin last night
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
