My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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