I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
