Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
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