Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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