I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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