Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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