we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I need to calm my uterus...
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
