Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
