I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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