Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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