I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
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