i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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