Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
