im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
