dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
