vagina is talking i cant
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
