Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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