so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Randomize
