Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
