It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Randomize
